[Php-it] [ot] joke sul web developer

Fri Jan 19 15:42:20 CET 2007

  The evolution of a web developer/designer

After reading the 10 CSS Tips from a Professional CSS Front-End
Architect (and the comments - important) I feel forced to rewrite the
popular "The Evolution of a Programmer" joke for web developers/web
designers. So, here it is (improvements are welcome - I'm not a web
developer or designer):

High School/Jr.High

hello.htm
Hello world!
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text editors/you name it
- your dog can read it and your grandma can change it
First year in College

hello.html
<Html>
<Body>
Hello world!
</body>
</html>
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text browsers/mobile
- your grandma can still change it with some effort

Senior year in College
hello3.html
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
<html>
<head>
<title>Hello world!</title>
<META NAME="DESCRIPTION" CONTENT="This is a cool hello world example!">
<META NAME="KEYWORDS" CONTENT="cool,hello,world,example">
</head>
<body>
Hello world!
</body>
</html>
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text browsers/mobile
- validates

Senior year in College - hacker
hello3.html
<html>
<head>
<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
</head>
<body>
&#104;ello world!
</body>
</html>
Compatibility
- m3 d0n't kn0w

New professional/PHP developer
hello4.php
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" 
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<title>Hello world!</title>
</head>
<body>
<?
echo("Hello world!" );
?>
</body>
</html>
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text browsers/mobile
- PHP needed
- will validate until some other dumb developer changes a letter

Seasoned professional/PHP developer

hello5.php
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" 
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<title>Hello world!</title>
</head>
<body>
<?
include "inc/class_hello_world.php";
$hello_world_class = &New class_hello_world;
$hello_world_class->display_hello();
?>
</body>
</html>
inc/class_hello_world.php
<?php
class class_hello_world{
var $hello = 'Hello world!';
function display_hello(){
echo $this->$hello;
return 0;
}
}
?>
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text browsers/mobile
- PHP needed (4, 5 recommended)

New designer

hello3.html
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<title>Hello world!</title>
</head>
<body>
<blink><font face="Arial" size="2" color="#800080">Hello 
world!</font></blink>
</body>
</html>
Compatibility
- works in all browsers/text browsers/mobile
- can annoy any person on earth (so no user compatibility)
New professional designer

hello3.html
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<title>Hello world!</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/main.css" type="text/css">
</head>
<body>
<span class="hello">Hello world!</span>
</body>
</html>
css/main.css
.hello {
font-family: Arial;
color: #990066;
}
Compatibility
- needs browser CSS support
- NN4+, IE4+, FF, Opera 3.6+
- will not apply style on some mobile browsers

Professional CSS Front-End Architect (sarcasm)

hello_world_v03a.html
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN"
"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8">
<title>Hello world!</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="css/main.css" type="text/css">
<style type="text/css" media="all">@import "css/main.css";</style>
<style type="text/css" media="all">@import "css/bugfix.css";</style>
<!--[if lte IE 6]><style type="text/css" media="all">@import 
"css/bugfix_ie6.css";</style><![endif]-->
<!--[if gt IE 6]><style type="text/css" media="all">@import 
"css/bugfix_ie7.css";</style><![endif]-->
<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" media="handheld" 
href="http://helloworldmobile.com/" title="Mobile/PDA">
<link rel="icon" href="http://helloworld.com/favicon.ico" 
type="image/x-icon">
</head>
<body>
<span class="hello">Hello world!</span>
</body>
</html>
There should be 4 css files I won't bother to write.
Compatibility
- compatible with "most modern browsers"
- somehow IE6,7,FF,Opera renders the text wrong
- how the hack would you maintain the CSS pages for every IE service 
pack (hint: hire another Professional CSS Front-End Architect)

New Manager
hello.doc
Hello world!
File > Export HTML page...

Middle Manager
mail -s "Hello, world." bob at b12

Bob, could you please write me a webpage that prints "Hello, world."?

Senior Manager
% zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." page by this afternoon

Top Manager

Calls Senior Manager
- Where the fck is my hello world page? The meeting with the client 
starts in 10 minutes!

MySpace administrator

We need to throw more servers at the hello world page.

Windows developer

Installs Visual Studio 2005
Opens Visual Studio
Google > "ASP 2.0 hello world"

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Aldo Galimberti - TXT Polymedia S.p.A.
v.Frigia 27 - 20126 Milano
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